In 2014 I lost my best friend to suicide, I’ve spent the last six months trying to pick up the pieces of myself. As with any time of desperation, I have turned to music to help with the acceptance and healing process.
Sometimes you cannot ask to feel better, sometimes you do not want to, and these are albums which have aided me in feeling understood and allowed for a healthy outlet in a time of indescribable grief.
Sorority Noise – Forgettable
The album mixes soaring garage party highs with slow melancholy confessions, bringing together elements of angst, self awareness and admission of defeat. For the most part the album has allowed an escape from feelings of desperation, but when I want to close my eyes in a darkened room ‘Smooth Jazz’ allows me the breathe.
“I learned a lot about death before I grew up, I watched you begin to fade when I was sixteen, I swore that I would be okay.You told me that your biggest fear was waking up each day.”
frnkiero & thecellabration – Stomachaches
Stomachaches is unashamedly dripping with anger and sorrow. Iero doesn’t hold back with his rasping vocals and because of this the album feels raw and honest. The sound is loud, thumping and distorted which provides a parallel with the internal feelings of grief. I have experienced guilt for my self pity but listening to this album banishes that and better still, it allows for a release of anger. This is particularly prominent on opening track ‘All I Want Is Nothing’
“And all I want is nothing, because all I want is what I can’t have. All I want is nothing, if i can’t have just one more second of a time when I was yours and you were mine. And all I want is everything we never had before but I still want more.”
The Front Bottoms – Brothers Can’t Be Friends
The Front Bottoms are purely confessional. Lyrics which sound like they’re straight from the page of a diary wrapped up in a musically messy, kooky exterior. They are an acquired taste, and especially on this 2008 EP, sound unpolished and distinctively basement-y. Brian Sella sings with overwhelming emotion, which propels the reality of each song. What’s truly special to me about this album is that it doesn’t pretend to be anything it isn’t, it’s just a truthful admission of the reality of loosing people you love, and loosing yourself feels like. For me, the stand out track is Molly, a broken hearted rough cut anthem primed to be shouted after a messy night where things have fallen apart.
“And I’ve got numbers I could call to forget about today. But I would rather sit alone, think of things that I would say. And I would write it in a letter and I will bury it in my backyard, and we will always think about you, cause you remind us of who we are.”